


I know the sound of your heart

by raine_go_away



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Concussions, Family Skate, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Team Dynamics, alexei-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 18:18:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8811214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raine_go_away/pseuds/raine_go_away
Summary: Alexei was many things in life. He was a good person, a good hockey player, and a good boyfriend. He was just not good at being selfish.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theholidayclub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theholidayclub/gifts).



> this was written for elle who wanted patater as a reward for her finals so here we are.
> 
> this in un-beta'ed and written quickly! so i'm sorry for any mistakes/confusion
> 
>  
> 
> Helpful Timeline things:
> 
> 1\. Tater got his concussion around late April/early March during the first round of postseason playoffs. It was a real badTM hit. Think like Pacioretty when he was checked by Chara.
> 
> 2\. Family skate is around mid-September. (I know this is a long time for a concussion recovery but every concussion is different. Tater had bad symptoms at first and would get close to being cleared for skating before the symptoms came back. I am also no expert on concussions.)

Alexei was many things in life. He was a good person, good hockey player, and good boyfriend. He was just not good at being selfish.

 

The boyfriend thing was still new though. He was still learning and trying to be everything that Kent needs.

 

Once when his mother called him from his small hometown back in Russia, he would hear the disappointment and worry mixed in her voice.

 

“ _Aloysha, does Kent do all of these things for you too_?”

 

And her words hung in his head for days afterwards.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Their relationship was tentative.

 

Alexei holds Kent in his hands like he’s made of glass because he _was_. Kent has put himself back together too many times in the past, he was scared of being broken. Then again, he’s never outwardly told this to Alexei.

 

But Alexei knows it.

 

Alexei has seen it in the way Kent tensed up at first when he felt Alexei’s touch on his shoulder when they were making coffee in the morning. Alexei has felt the hesitance leak out of Kent before he would let himself melt against Alexei’s shoulder when he comes to bed.

 

(Kent may not know it, but Alexei saw the way Kent’s hand trembled when he brushed Alexei’s hair from his forehead while he slept. He just wanted to tell Kent that he wouldn’t break, that his concussion could only be helped by Kent’s touch.)

 

So, when Alexei was finally cleared to skate after long grueling months after that hit landed him a concussion, he stood in the doorway of the living room of his Providence apartment and stared at Kent.

 

He was laying there on the couch under the filtered light from the window. His glasses were nearly falling off his nose as he thumbed through pages of a novel with a blanket pulled up to his chest. He didn’t look up at Alexei, was too focused, but Alexei used that moment to take a deep breath.

 

“I want you to come to skate Saturday,” Alexei announced and the aftermath was Kent’s eyes snapping up to meet his.

 

“It’s family skate on Saturday,” Kent said slowly, and Alexei could see the calculating look on his face.

 

“Yes, family skate. First skate back. You come with, yes?” And in that moment, Alexei allowed himself to be hopeful. He crossed the room and squeezed onto the couch alongside Kent. He pressed up into Kent’s side, nestling his chin in his shoulder.

 

Eventually, Kent let his head fall to rest against Alexei’s. He let out a content hum as his boyfriend slowly melted into his side.

 

“You come with?” Alexei repeated, reaching up to run his fingers through Kent’s golden hair, watching as the cowlicks stuck up quickly after he smoothed them down.

 

It was quiet for what felt like eternity. Alexei knew he was holding his breath, just wanting to know if Kent would support him the same way he supported him.

 

Kent was silent until he suddenly wasn’t.

 

“You’re comfy,” Kent mumbled and settled down against Alexei. His eyes slipped shut, and Alexei laid there, still running his fingers through the ends of Kent’s hair and tried not to think about what his mother said the last time she called.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He knew he was stupid for wondering if Kent loved him in the same way. Though he may not have the most experience in relationships, he knew that these silly doubts were the things that rooted into problems if left alone.

 

But Alexei wasn’t brave enough to ask.

 

They were out in a cautious way; the only way famous NHL players could be. Their teammates knew, their respective management teams knew, and so did their families. But any mention of making an official announcement had Kent’s eyes downcast and his breath hitching in his throat.

 

Alexei wasn’t good at being selfish, not when it came to this.

 

He loved Kent Parson with every fiber of his being. Something protective within him surged hot and angry when he saw all of these headlines criticizing Kent or the slurs thrown at Kent through twitter. He loved Kent Parson enough to settle for hiding the true nature of their relationship.

 

Of course there was public speculation though. News outlets and fans questioned why the beloved Las Vegas captain dropped everything to fly cross-country when some Falconers defenseman took a nasty check into the boards and didn’t get up from the ice.

 

Playoffs were on the horizon, and as much as Alexei loved Kent doting over him in his hesitant shaky way, he pushed him away with an order to bring back a certain cup.

 

“I could stay for a few more days, really. They don’t need me,” Kent had whispered the night before his flight in the dark of Alexei’s bedroom.

 

“Lies,” Alexei remembered saying as he brought Kent’s hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. “Silly lying Aces captain. You go back, yes?”

 

When Kent opened his mouth to protest, Alexei shook his head.

 

“I be here waiting,” he said firmly, intertwining their fingers and squeezing tightly. “You come back to me.”

 

Kent had nodded in silence, exhaling a breath that trembled coming out of his lungs that Alexei could feel the shudder against him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Four months ago the Aces were knocked out of playoffs late in a nail-biting seven game series against San Jose. Alexei remembered clicking off the television, his head throbbing from staring at the screen with such intensity. He was going to regret it later. He knew he would.

 

But he had to watch even though he hated watching Kent leave the rink with his head down and thrashing his arm out against the wall as he got into the tunnel.

 

Within a day, Alexei could hear his front door clicking closed and soft footsteps padding through his apartment. He didn’t move until he felt the bed shift under Kent’s weight and he rolled onto his back to watch Kent sit on the edge of his bed, knees on his elbows, head in his hands.

 

“Hey,” Alexei said softly, reaching out to touch Kent’s shoulder.

 

Kent didn’t tense up this time, didn’t shy away from Alexei’s touch.

 

“Hey,” he repeated in a stronger tone. “You played best game.”

 

Kent let out a hollow laugh, shaking his head.

 

“It was definitely far from my best game,” Kent’s voice dripped with icy disappointment. “I just… fuck!” And he threw the shoe he had taken off across the room in a violent movement.

 

Alexei didn’t flinch away.

 

“You best player,” Alexei said fiercely, sitting up and pressing a kiss to the back of Kent’s neck. “You best captain,” and he pulled Kent flush against his body. “You best boyfriend,” and his arms tightened around Kent’s middle.

 

Slowly, he felt the tension melt out of Kent’s shoulders as his head eventually lulled back. His eyes glowed silver in the dim light of the bedroom as he stared up at Alexei.

 

“Shouldn’t I be taking care of you?” he asked in a weak, joking tone.

 

Alexei found himself smiling.

 

“Yes. I am broken old man who needs lots of sleep and love. It’s bed time,” Alexei hummed, falling back onto the bed with Kent in his arms. A loud, joyous sound escaped from Kent’s lips as he laughed into Alexei’s shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Throughout the week Kent didn’t mention family skate at all. The topic never drifted to the surface of their conversation, and Alexei didn’t prod. He couldn’t bring himself to.

 

But he brought it up with Jack that Wednesday when they had a corresponding strength session together. When Alexei had started getting back into light workouts, different teammates would volunteer to join him while he recovered from his concussion.

 

At first he was adamant that they didn’t need to join him, but god, Alexei loved his team. He thrived off of their energy and it was slowly becoming less frustrating and more bearable.

 

Jack had just racked the bar after completing a set while Alexei sat on the ground with a foam roller.

 

“I don’t think Kenny wants to come to family skate,” he said quietly and hated how small his voice sounded.

 

He could see how taken aback Jack was at first, just blinking in Alexei’s direction. Jack didn’t say anything at first, just wiping his forehead with the hem of his shirt and grabbing Alexei’s water bottle.

 

Finally, he cleared his throat a little bit and shrugged.

 

“I mean… it’s Kent. He uh, he probably just needs space,” Jack said hesitantly.

 

Alexei nodded in consideration because this _was_ Kent. This is how he is when struck with moments of intimacy. He has always held it at an arms distance.

 

And part of him wondered if Kent was holding him at an arms distance too.

 

He pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he finished rolling out, watching as Jack finished up his reps in silence.

 

“Thank you, Zimmboni,” he said on the way out, pressing a loud kiss to Jack’s sweaty forehead with a bright smile. “Best rookie.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

On Saturday, Alexei slipped out of bed quietly. He paused when he stood up, looking down at Kent’s sleeping form and mindlessly running his fingers from Kent’s shoulder. His finger traced the now faint scar from Kent’s shoulder surgery last summer down to the collection of freckles at the small of his back.

 

Kent let out a small noise, his eyes scrunching up as he curled up more against his pillow. With a soft smile, Alexei pulled the covers up higher over Kent.

 

When he turned to leave, a hand caught his own loosely.

 

He looked back, and Kent still had his eyes closed but his fingers squeezed Alexei’s twice in greeting.

 

“See you soon,” Kent mumbled into the pillow. Alexei could feel his chest tighten at that but he summoned up the best smile he could manage.

 

“Yes,” he whispered back. “See you soon.”

 

But he didn’t let himself be too hopeful as he got ready and left for the rink all while Kent slept away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The team had to report to the rink before family skate to watch tapes and discuss the approach to the new season as training camp was about to start. The team was buzzing, energy thrumming in the air as they all easily reconnected.

 

Their voices were loud around Alexei and he could feel himself practically vibrating with excitement.

 

“Missed us that much, Tater?” Snowy asked him as he sunk down into his usual seat right at Alexei’s side. And god, Alexei could cry because he just _missed_ this. He missed having to listen to everyone’s loud conversations and the routine of it all.

 

“Yes!” he beamed in Snowy’s direction and it earned him a loud laugh.

 

“Everyone, our beloved Tater is a fucking sap!” Snowy shouted in the room and everyone laughed in response.

 

“He’s always been a softie!” Thirdy yelled back from his corner and the rest of the team chimed in. Alexei loved it, missed it.

 

Soon enough, they had to settle in for the long haul of the meeting. Alexei tried his best to focus on everything, and his head didn’t hurt after over two hours of talks, so he counted it as a success.

 

As they cleared the room, Snowy swung his arm over the back of Alexei’s shoulders.

 

“You excited for your first skate back?”

 

Alexei hesitated briefly before nodding quickly.

 

“Yes. Very excited,” Alexei said. Snowy didn’t question his pause as they entered the changing room to get their skates.

 

“Is Parse coming?” Snowy asked with a raised eyebrow. Alexei shied away from his gaze, ducking his head down and reaching up for his skates and trying to focus on how they felt electric under his fingertips.

 

“I… I don’t know.” And his voice was just as small if not smaller than when he spoke with Jack the other day.

 

Snowy didn’t say anything again, and Alexei was thankful for the simple pat on his shoulder. They walked out to the ice together in silence, and Alexei’s stomach was churning with anticipation.

 

And when they got to the rink, he took a moment to look around slowly, just breathing in and taking it all in. The crisp, stale sweat air was familiar and cloaked around him like a comfort blanket as he eased himself onto the ice.

 

He didn’t know why he hesitated so much. It was as if he was expecting the ice to crack beneath him the moment he touched it.

 

But it didn’t.

 

When he started to hesitantly skate around slowly he could hear Snowy giving out a simple whoop as a cheer and some of the families clapped.

 

“Atta boy, Tater!” Snowy shouted as he skated onto the ice. And when Alexei turned to look over at him, someone skated right in front of him in a blur, circling him quickly.

 

“Took you long enough.”

 

And Alexei could feel his chest expanding with pure elation and love when he properly registered the voice.

 

“Kenny, slow down,” he laughed. He knew he was grinning stupidly, and sure enough, his boyfriend came to a stop in front of him. Kent’s blonde hair was windblown in the way it would only get when he skated without his helmet.

 

Then, he just couldn’t help himself, and just scooped Kent up into his arms tightly as he laughed happily. He could hear Kent’s laughter blend with his own and his eyes squeezed shut as he grinned.

 

“What’s this about?” Kent asked him, his eyes bright and glinting as he looked up at Alexei.

 

Finally, in that moment, Alexei let himself be brave enough to say:

 

“I not think you come.”

 

He watched Kent’s expression melt from just pure joy and its usual glint of mirth to something softer, something that he sees only at home.

 

“Aloysha,” Kent whispered, one of his hands reaching up to trace along Alexei’s cheek. Alexei loved when Kent called him that, and he squeezed his eyes shut again so that way Kent couldn’t see how stupidly emotional he was getting over this. “Aloysha, of course I would come.”

 

Alexei couldn’t get his voice to work yet.

 

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Kent said, his other hand reaching down to tangle his fingers with Alexei’s own.

 

“I… not know,” he stammered, his cheeks flushing embarrassingly. Kent offered another soft smile that just felt so intimate and so much like _home_ that Alexei felt like he was engulfed in a warmth that he never wanted to escape.

 

“Why did you think I haven’t flown out for training camp yet?” Kent asked in an amused tone. “Our camp started last week.”

 

“But you not say you going to come!” Alexei protested in a childish whine because there was no way his fears were not valid.

 

“I thought it was obvious!” Kent laughed.

 

And Alexei laughed right along with him. The two of them pressed against each other, heads tipped back in laughter, cheeks flushed.

 

“I love you,” Alexei said and watched as Kent rolled his eyes fondly and smiled.

 

“I love you too,” Kent said quietly, because it was _private_. It was just for them.  “Now, c’mon. I saved us a sled, and I want you to try to pull me around!” And he skated away backwards, just grinning back at Alexei.

 

“Can’t! Too heavy.”

 

“Screw you, Mashkov.”

 

“Parse! Language! This is a _family_ skate, remember, eh?”

 

And Alexei couldn’t stop grinning, especially not when he tugged Kent around the rink in a sled that he barely fit in to begin with.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It wasn’t until Alexei was settling down into bed with Kent already dozing off that he checked his phone to find an obscene number of notifications.

 

He settled against his pillow and furrowed his eyebrows as he scrolled through the Google Alerts, trying to piece together what happened through the article titles.

 

**“Kent Parson Potentially Traded to the Falconers? Why is the Vegas Captain Still in Providence?”**

**“Hockey Husbands: Kent Parson and Alexei Mashkov.”**

**“Family or Enemy Skate?”**

**“An Updated Timeline of Kent Parson and Alexei Mashkov’s Historic Friendship (+Relationship?)”**

 

After he waded through all of the articles, he found himself on Kent’s Instagram account. There was a new photo, a shot of Alexei looking over his shoulder when he had tugged the sled around the rink. His cheeks were rosy, his grin wide and fond.

 

And all that Kent had written in the caption was, “ _Family skate :)_ ”

 

Alexei felt like his chest was tightening with a warmth and surge of pride for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He settled further in bed, curling around Kent as he typed out a comment.

 

“ _Yes. Family ))))))))_ ”

 

And if he added a heart or two at the end, who could really blame him?

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> some stuff that wasn't included but exist in this verse!
> 
> 1\. It took Jack two months to stop calling Kent "Kenny" and it wasn't because anyone outwardly asked him to stop. But he could see how tense Kent got when he called him that. 
> 
> 2\. Kit often gets flown back and forth between Providence and Vegas. She was flown out right after Tater got his concussion because if Kent couldn't take care of him during playoffs, Kit would. 
> 
> 3\. Snowy and Tater are like Sid and Flower where they have to sit next to each other whenever they travel and probably play video games too. In the same seats. Every time. Goalie love.
> 
>  
> 
> i'm considering writing a kent-centric version/continuation/something for this! not sure yet. let me know. :)
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> find me in hockey hell at kparsekpop.tumblr.com


End file.
